Embracing 30: The Millennial Urge to Transform

"When I was your age I was {insert life stage that sounds like a hellscape}" - is the message lately from adultier adults.

I turned 30 a few days ago. There's no rush to have the house and the kids. But I am feeling the urge to have "the cars, the clothes, the hoes" as they say. There's got to be more; I want more than this.

I'm not above feeling like this age is a transformative milestone that should be a catalyst for change. A wave of excitement and possibility washes over me, pulling me to redefine my life, and pursue my dreams with renewed vigor. I feel awake for the first time - or perhaps aware that I am awake. You know that feeling when you're dreaming and you realize "this is a dream;" it is a powerful invitation to reinvent myself. Or maybe return to who I've always been.

"Maddie knew who she was from an early age..."

This was a journal entry when I was 15 or 16 years old. I call turning 30 a "return" (and I'll talk about the "Saturn Return" later), because looking back at this I've always known what I wanted.

At 16 was graduating high school, had gotten into good colleges. But as an immigrant, I didn't have the necessary documents for FAFSA or loans or most scholarships.

What for most students was a simple navigation through paperwork, for me was an insurmountable journey through the U.S. higher education system. But I surmounted.

Getting money for college, going and excelling, and "getting an amazing job in corporate" seems simple now, but my what a feat. And it took about a decade.

At 26-27ish, I had graduated, moved across the country to Los Angeles, and had a job at Netflix, a company I absolutely loved.

Past tense because then came layoffs and a whole line of questioning everything I'd built and achieved and 6 months of traveling (thanks to a very generous severance), and a panic as I realized I HAVE to work - maybe - and now I've committed to a start-up and can't figure out how to decenter work.

Character development.

I am returning to the girl who saw work as a means to her passions - starting a non-profit, building schools, hospitals - oh and making $10M and winning a Nobel Peace Prize. I'm not asking for much here.

I believe in sprints - 30 to 60 days at a time, that will define the next 30 years to 60 years. The days are fast, but the decades are defining. So that's what I'm doing here.

Defining the next decade through small habit shifts, and squeezing the joy out of the days along the way.